Friday, August 28, 2015

Joy in spite of the Dys

This sight still makes me so happy.

Let me tell you something, mama friends.  When you think something is "not quite right" with your child, don't give up.  It is very, very important that you don't give up.  You must trust your instincts that your child is TOO smart to struggle SO much.

Do every single assessment and every single evaluation that is out there until you get an answer. Then, when your kiddo is reading at grade level and things seem a lot better, but you still think something just is "not quite right", do another assessment and evaluation.

Then ... after you've spent a buttload of money on that kid;

and after you've dealt with the dysfunctional/passive-aggressive tutor who implies that this poor child's mama works too much and that's why the child isn't able to be a good learner all the time;

and after you've cried to your therapist, your friends, and your family about how much you can't stand that tutor (even though she is effective with your kid);

and after you (and your husband) have cajoled and negotiated, threatened and yelled, and dug very deep to stay calm, positive, and empathetic to get this child to do her tutoring homework almost every damn day all damn summer long and made this child so MAD.AT.YOU. because IT.IS.SUMMER and YOU.YOU MOM. are ruining her summer by making her do homework;

and after your kiddo tells one night that she had a spelling test that day (the first spelling test of the year) and she just knows that she got them all right and your heart sinks a little and your throat tightens up because you want so badly, so very badly, for that to be true but you are so afraid that it won't be;

and when your husband texts you (at work) a photo of that spelling test, and not only did she get all the regular words right but she got the bonus words right too.

After all of that, you will fall to your knees and crawl under your desk and thank God for giving you this precious child to raise.  You will thank God for giving you the doggedness and persistence and confidence to help that child; for the friends and family that supported you in your quest; for the jobs that made the money to pay for the expensive tutoring.  You will thank God for giving you a husband who believed you when you told him that something is "not quite right" with the way their child reads and writes.  You will even thank God for the VERY.STRONG.WILL of this child because that turned into determination as well.

You will even feel grateful for the dyslexia and the dysgraphia that your child may or may not have, because without that you wouldn't have been able to feel such joy and gratitude over a spelling test.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Joy.  The "dys" will always be there, and we don't even know the full extent of the "dys" but what I know for now is that what we did all summer is working and now we have a few months of breathing room before we figure out the next step.  Just so much joy.


Maud said...

That photo is worth a bazillion words.

Jennifer Thorson said...

I interviewed a very impressive woman recently, and she spoke beautifully about seeing her dyslexia as a gift, because it gave her a different perspective on the world.

(But that tutor really should not have said those horrid things to you. Ugh.)

Allison said...

I am smiling as I read this - three cheers for you and your persevering girl!

Elaine said...

Oh man, I cannot believe how long it's been since I visited your blog - but let me just add my BRAVO to everyone at your house. You all did it! Hope this year is a bit easier than the previous one.

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