Monday, February 2, 2015

Spinning Up

I was on the phone with my sister this morning, talking about an issue that I'm worried about, and I realized that my thoughts and emotions were caught in a vortex and I said to her "I'm spinning up."  Her response: "Yes."

I've only recently started realizing that I do this thing - where my thoughts jump from one to another quickly - it happens more often when I am stressed or worried but also happens sometimes when I'm excited.  It feels out of control, but it's not really - it's just how my mind works, the mind of a busy working mother who thinks and feels intently and intensely.

I used to "spin up" whenever I had to leave for a trip that was more than 2 nights - but after one 50 minute session with my newish counselor/therapist I have mostly solved that issue (yes, she is THAT good) and I now prepare differently for trips and I think differently so that I don't get all spun up.

I have an old, dear friend who does it too, right Helen's mom?  We've joked about how we both do it and so conversations between us are often very fast and disjointed to an outsider.

I guess I would say I'm thinking intensely about 4-5 things right now and I want to take action and fix every single thing RIGHT.NOW.

My sister reminded me that although these things are important, none of these things are life and death and I don't have to do anything today.  A friend reminded me that as much as I want them to be, they aren't necessarily "fixable" anyway.  They are things that need to be addressed and worked on at some point, but they aren't the sort of things that can be fixed (one of them is my professional development, if that gives you an idea).

I can feel the spinning up starting as I'm writing this and even when I think I'm not thinking about it, I know it's processing in my mind because another friend mentioned today that I seemed distracted.

So for now, I will take a deep breath and try to slow the spin.

1 comment:

Elaine said...

I feel like I should have a witty response, but my mind is aflutter!

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