Monday, November 3, 2014

Acute

It's been almost 15 months since we've moved.  It still hits me some times - not like a knife to the heart anymore (thank goodness, because that knife was seriously painful), but more like a punch to the gut.

It happens when I see close up photos of friends on FB or their blogs or our house in Maryland.  I was cleaning out photos on my phone and saw an adorable pic of the girls in the big wooded backyard and a lovely shot of our charming front porch and the pain almost knocked the breath out of me.

It happens when I hear of troubles in my old neighborhood - my heart aches for my neighbors that are being taken advantage of developers who are going back on our town's written agreements with them and our poor little underfunded town has to decide whether or not to sue.

The doppelganger thing still happens occasionally.  Today at the gym, I thought I saw a Maryland friend.  My heart jumped with excitement only to be crushed again when I saw it wasn't her and thought to myself: "Why did you let yourself think it would be someone you knew?  That's so stupid."

I was saying to an old friend on the phone recently that I'll never, ever be able to replace those friendships I had "back East."  My friends there were either girlfriends from college, the Milk Moms, or neighborhood friends that I met when the girls were babies or saw on a fairly regular basis.  They were special and it took time to build those relationships and it will take time to build relationships here too.

I'm doing all the right things - I still introduce myself to people I haven't met yet, I friend people on FB after I meet them, I'm in a book club, we've joined a small church community (faith sharing group) at our church, I'm involved with the local Girl Scouts Council.  I could do more - I'd like to start blogging for a Denver area moms group, having women over once a month or so for coffee, volunteering to teach ESL classes through our church's migrant ministry.

I do have a few friends here and I have many friendly acquaintances.  It seems to be hard to see them regularly though and that makes it hard to build strong friendships.  For sure, I could make more of an effort - but that's hard too, my focus right now is the family, and work, and exercising.  At some point I will need to invest more time in forming these relationships.

This transition has already gone on longer than I thought it would - just hoping it stays acute and doesn't become chronic.

3 comments:

Elaine said...

The most overwhelming thing I think of when I think about moving is the idea of having to start over on finding friends. So tough at this stage of our lives - particularly if you dare to dream of a friendship NOT centered around a child. Book club and church seem like great ideas; maybe a scrapbooking club (do those exist)? Much love from the east.

Sarah T said...

You got this, lady. One the many things I always admired about you was how you would take time to meet new people, make connections for yourself and others, and make new folks feel welcome. Your skills and karma will come back many-fold, I am sure of it. And you always have a special place in our hearts "out east." hugs.

Marya said...

It is no secret that I think you have a beautiful soul. It is interesting to me that it seems harder to make friends and connections as our children get older. Be careful not to put pressure on yourself and lean on your "back east" friendships when you need us. Love and hugs, my friend.

 
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