It's been almost 15 months since we've moved. It still hits me some times - not like a knife to the heart anymore (thank goodness, because that knife was seriously painful), but more like a punch to the gut.
It happens when I see close up photos of friends on FB or their blogs or our house in Maryland. I was cleaning out photos on my phone and saw an adorable pic of the girls in the big wooded backyard and a lovely shot of our charming front porch and the pain almost knocked the breath out of me.
It happens when I hear of troubles in my old neighborhood - my heart aches for my neighbors that are being taken advantage of developers who are going back on our town's written agreements with them and our poor little underfunded town has to decide whether or not to sue.
The doppelganger thing still happens occasionally. Today at the gym, I thought I saw a Maryland friend. My heart jumped with excitement only to be crushed again when I saw it wasn't her and thought to myself: "Why did you let yourself think it would be someone you knew? That's so stupid."
I was saying to an old friend on the phone recently that I'll never, ever be able to replace those friendships I had "back East." My friends there were either girlfriends from college, the Milk Moms, or neighborhood friends that I met when the girls were babies or saw on a fairly regular basis. They were special and it took time to build those relationships and it will take time to build relationships here too.
I'm doing all the right things - I still introduce myself to people I haven't met yet, I friend people on FB after I meet them, I'm in a book club, we've joined a small church community (faith sharing group) at our church, I'm involved with the local Girl Scouts Council. I could do more - I'd like to start blogging for a Denver area moms group, having women over once a month or so for coffee, volunteering to teach ESL classes through our church's migrant ministry.
I do have a few friends here and I have many friendly acquaintances. It seems to be hard to see them regularly though and that makes it hard to build strong friendships. For sure, I could make more of an effort - but that's hard too, my focus right now is the family, and work, and exercising. At some point I will need to invest more time in forming these relationships.
This transition has already gone on longer than I thought it would - just hoping it stays acute and doesn't become chronic.
5 days ago