Tuesday, August 13, 2013

It's normal to cry in Target

I don't care what anybody says - it is completely normal to cry at the customer service desk at the SuperTarget in NE Westminster (the one at the Orchard) because Loren is SOOOOO nice to you and spends 10 minutes looking up the code number for the Primary Composition notebooks (of which there are NONE left within a 5 mile radius at ANY store) and then another 10 minutes calling the Target stores within a 10 mile radius to verify that they still have the ones that the computer says they do.

It is PERFECTLY NORMAL to take his hand, look him in the eye, and say "thank you for helping me - you have made a difference in my life today" and then give a big heaving sob.

If yesterday was an exciting day, then today was a day of (mostly) drudgery - unpacking, school supply shopping and printing stuff for school registration.

The. School.  OMG - the school !  I don't want to say much because it sounds like bragging, but this is what you get when you live in an area where there is not systemic poverty nor are there areas of high concentrations of poverty.  I dunno - public transportation is so good here that the poor areas seem to be more spread out ?

Art room.  Full time school psychologist.  Sunlit classrooms.  Library with full time aide and 1/2 time librarian.  The after-school classes are sparse though.  And there were typos on the school supply list.  So, they aren't perfect.

I've met two neighbors.  As different as night and day.

Several weeks ago, while at an interfaith prayer group with some neighborhood friends, one of my friends thanked God for preparing people to be friends to me, to our family.  I saw those people today and yesterday - those people whom God has prepared to be our helpers.  The above referenced Loren at Target; the neighbor K. who let me see how her kitchen was organized and who responded nicely when I got excited when I realized that she was LDS (Mormon); the other neighbor S., who moved here a year ago and whom I met over e-mail a couple weeks ago and clarified that 2nd graders needed 2 pocket folders (not 1 pocket folders as indicated on school supply list).  And the school psychologist who took us on a tour of the beautiful school today and listened patiently as Ramona talked (and as Beezus didn't).  I felt her energy, her positive presence, and thanked God for her.

The house is beautiful and bigger than I remembered - although there is a fine dust everywhere that I can't seem to get rid of.  As soon as you wipe it up it re-appears.  WTF ?!?!

Everyone here is so thin and tan.  The moms all wear these Athleta style tank tops.

Today was so hard, so very hard, as I knew it would be.  And that's okay.  There's just so much to do.

I pray a lot - I acknowledge and am thankful for the presence of God everytime I see the mountains.  It is such a beautiful ever present reminder.

But you know what I did do today?  I got every single. freaking. item. on the girls school supply list. Including the above referenced Primary Composition Notebook, even though it took 4 hours and several stops at various stores.

My hope for tomorrow is to continue moving forward when I feel like crying.  To continue unpacking.  To visit the community recreation center to sign us up for a membership.  To take the girls to the playground and let them play for 30 minutes.

I am woman.  I am mother.  Hear me roar.


Elaine said...

They're just all thin because they're smokin' pot. Legally.

Seriously, what a huge deal to move. Ed and I always talk about how hard it can be to make new friends. But you'll get there! Maybe there's a social couples' club at church! My parents met great people at my mom's church.

And I agree, a great school is everything. It's too bad all schools aren't as you describe, but I adore my public school and wish everyone went to one as good as it. I shudder to think of not having all the support staff and the dedicated spaces for art, gym, music, foreign language labs, etc. They're so critical.

Much love from London! I'll be in Paris by nightfall tomorrow and thinking of you!

Anonymous said...

You're doing great, Ellen. Thinking of you and David and the girls. Love, H.

Peg said...

thinking of you :) I know you can do this! You are doing an awesome job and I'm sure in a few months this will feel like home.

oh and I cry at Target alll the time :)

hang in there! Rooting for you back here in the DC area!!

Laura said...

Oh you are so tough! You're staying strong for this part but it won't always be so hard, and you won't always have to be so strong. Thinking of you lots from ten thousand miles away!

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