Monday, March 11, 2013

For You O Lord, My Soul in Stillness Waits

This is the Psalm I have been listening to on repeat this evening.

For You O Lord, My Soul in Stillness Waits

You see, my mother-in-law is dying.

My husband's mother.

My children's grandmother.

Her body is weary.  I imagine she is tired.  She was still very active until a couple years ago, and still fairly active until about 10 months ago.  So this sort of feels sudden, in a way.

My prayers have been prayers for comfort for her and for strength for her children especially, and for all who love her.  My mother-in-law does not need prayers of strength, for she is already strong.  Her fourth child died at age 6 months of meningitis.  At his 6 month appointment he was fine and then he died a week later.  She went on to have five more children - my husband is the ninth child, the eighth one living.  Then her husband died when she was around 46, when her oldest child was 18, and her youngest child was four.

She went back to work at a time when women didn't do that.  She moved her family from their hometown to a town a couple hours away.  Seven of her children went to college.  She has strength.

Until a few years ago, she occasionally accompanied my husband on his business trips: San Francisco, Hawaii, Texas.  I'm glad they had that time together.  I have never felt terribly close to her - I craved a relationship that was more emotionally connected but it just wasn't to be. We named our first child after her mother.  I hope that pleased her, but I don't really know.

It's hard to write about this without telling my husband's story, and I don't want to do that, for it is only his to tell.  But I will say this: he went to see her today, to say all the things he has always wanted to say.  He got to sit with her and hold her hand. I am so very, very grateful that my sister-in-law encouraged me to encourage him to go.  I haven't been through this before and I called her yesterday morning for some guidance and I was rewarded with guidance and compassion.

Last fall, I went with Mr. Quimby and the girls to see my mother-in-law.  She was still very much with it mentally, and the girls had a lovely time visiting.  I was able to have a nice conversation with her: about her past and her present and all the things in-between.  I told her that her son, my husband, is a fine man.  I said that she raised him well, that even with his flaws (she was surprised to hear he has a temper !) he is a very, very good man.  It was the sort of emotional connection and substantive conversation that I've always wanted to have and I will be forever grateful, so very grateful, that we had that time together.

So, now we wait.  And I will pray, for her comfort and for a peaceful passing.

If you are so inclined, we would welcome your prayers, your thoughts, your requests for positive energy out into the universe.


Vickie said...

Thinking of you and David and the girls.

Stimey said...

I'm so sorry. Sending wishes for peace for all of you.

Aimee @ Smiling Mama said...

Sending warm hugs and prayers for peace to your MIL and entire family.

Herself said...

You're in mine.

Anonymous said...

So sorry, Ellen. Here's hoping what time is left is peaceful and pain-free. Love, H.

Becky said...

My MIL died unexpectedly the summer before last. Our relationship was not particularly great. It was hard. Sending prayers for peace for all of you.

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