I get it now

Some of you know of the controversial community issue that I've been working on. We've had some "wins" on some procedural issues, and it's tempting to start vote counting (it looks good).  This issue is heating up again, and I had an epiphany today about politicians.  I  totally get it now.

When I first started working on this controversial community issue, I was annoyed by the emphasis that some people placed on the role of policitians and elected or appointed officials.

I was further annoyed when my group (you can just call us the opposition) met with one of these politicians.  He was/is in favor of the project but didn't know anything beyond the very, very basic details.  Fortunately, he had no jurisdiction over the project and kept claiming that.  Of course, we found out later from some e-mails we obtained from a FOIA request that he was involved heavily in building community support for the project and even funded some of the mailings that the supporters did.

I was getting jaded and scoffed when one of my new activist friends talked about the importance of donating to political campaigns.

But my goodness, I get it now.  After today's hearing and witnessing one of my elected officials in action, I TOTALLY get IT now.

There is such a feeling of pride when you witness your elected official doing the right thing.  When you see him asking thoughtful, critical questions that clearly demonstrate a depth of understanding of the matter at hand.  When this normally mild-mannered man that you see with his kids in the grocery store or at school drop off stares back icily at one of the supporters making an objection and says "It doesn't matter how long it takes, this is the process and I'm going to ask all the questions I need to ask."

I feel proud of him, and proud that I voted for him.

Of course, I also feel sorry for some of my county neighbors who have a different elected official - either the one who was clearly watching a movie on his laptop or the one who was taking a snooze.  But I guess 2 completely unengaged people out of 9 isn't too bad.

I also GET that a small group of people (along with some mysterious, anonymous financial donors) really can make a difference.

Hibernation

Well, I did it.  For about 10 days, I followed the advice of a massage therapist (and the advice of my readers who commented) and I hibernated.  I still went to work and took care of the family (in fact I was actually super busy at work) but in my free time, I laid around on the couch, took some naps, and let the house get messy (we are well below the desired state at this point - there are unauthorized piles EVERYWHERE of papers and/or clean laundry).

It worked - after about 10 days I felt better.  I could literally feel the fatigue lift last Sunday afternoon.

I'm going to be more careful about this in the future and really try, especially in January and February to ratchet down and do some hibernating.  Oh, and I'm also going to go and see the massage therapist more regularly since she gives such good advice !

Posterity

I'm so torn.  Beezus confided something in me the other day that was so sweet and innocent and pure and was such a special moment between us, that I feel compelled to right about it here to preserve it for posterity.  But it was also such a special moment, that I'm not sure I can write about it in a way that gives it the dignity it deserves.

If I can figure out how to write about it, I will.  But if not, I'm hoping this post will help me remember it when I'm an old lady.

Visitors

We had a lot of rain a couple weeks ago, and a pair of mallard ducks got confused and settled in a big puddle in the field behind our house.  We watched them on and off for several hours, and then Mr. Quimby took the girls out for a closer look.

Be still my heart

I've been working on a post in my head about the damage that being constantly busy does to me.

On one hand, I love it.  I love having a busy schedule, the feeling of my heart pumping, the near constant flow of adrenaline that comes from always multi-tasking and from the fear of "Will I be able to do it all ?"  and the sense of accomplishment that comes when I get everything done.  I love it.

But the crash is so very, very awful.  I crashed a few days after my last post (after my community event was done) and I still haven't recovered.  Let me be clear, this is not depression or the blues.  Rather, I think that my body is reacting to the absence of adrenaline and to the presence of fatigue.  My house is a mess (by my standards) and things feel a little chaotic.  I'm trying to give myself space to work through this time and sit and be comfortable with these feelings, rather than trying to fix them by organizing something.

I went to see a massage therapist who also (evidently) fancies herself a bit of a counselor.  As we were chatting before my session and I was telling her about my life, she remarked that it seemed that perhaps I hadn't had the opportunity to store up any winter energy.  She used a metaphor of embers in our core as the source of our energy and if I didn't tend and feed that fire over the winter, it's hard to keep the embers burning now.  As kooky as it sounds, it makes sense to me.  Our bodies are meant to rest in winter - to use the longer hours of dark for time to sleep more.  I wasn't conscious of that this past winter, but I will be in the future.

My brain is telling me to end this post by writing about the 4 things I will start doing to pull myself out of this, but I'm telling my brain to wait - save that post for another day.  Sit with this for now.

I find myself in good company today - because as I saved this draft and went to my blog roll, I found Sharon had written on a similar issue.