Thursday, September 6, 2012

NOT bat shit crazy

I haven't blogged about this because I'm afraid of jinxing it, but Ramona turned in to a normal human being about 6 weeks ago.

She has been a challenging child to raise since she was about 3 years old.  Other people who are around us a lot (family members, neighbors) see it too.  The effect on Beezus has been upsetting for us to see, since she is easily upset when Ramona has a tantrum.  The thing is, the common boundary setting / discipline things didn't work with her.  It was a stubborn-ness and a control issue that manifested itself in holding her poop (that is, thankfully 95% resolved) and it asserting her will.

I think I know what has brought about this development.  She was in camps this summer with kids who are primarily older and I think that she rose to the occasion.  Also, she's excited about being one of the oldest children in her Atrium (religious education) class and one of the oldest children at her pre-school/kindergarten.

Although she has NEVER responded to reward based incentives or punishments in the past, she finally does now.  In order to earn the transition from the car seat to the booster seat, she had to agree to stop hitting, kicking, biting, and screaming from the time she turned 5 until the end of our vacation in mid-August.  She did a stellar job and when she would start to lose control, I would whisper to her "Think about what you are working for.  Think about the booster seat."

There were times, especially in the last year, where Mr. Q or I would be IN TEARS over the stress and chaos that her behavior inflicted on our family.  There were times that we felt held hostage to her lack of cooperation.

Tonight she had a major tantrum over the water in the bathtub going down the drain. She wanted us to save it because it was "precious water."  I'm not sure what was going on other than processing the tension of the day since Mr. Q returned after a 4 day trip.  But the process of getting her through it (a little over 30 minutes, thankyouverymuch) was excruciating and reminded me that it's been a long time since she's had one that bad.  I was SO proud of Mr. Q and I for not going bat shit crazy.  We held it together pretty well, which is tough, since Beezus gets really angry at us when Ramona has a tantrum.

All that has changed recently and it has been wonderful the past few weeks.  I'm hoping and praying that all that is behind us now and looking forward to what comes next.


Aimee @ Smiling Mama said...

Oh my goodness. Hopefully she's growing up and out of this phase. Good luck!!

Maud said...

Oh, what a long time it's been for you. And I can't imagine how hard the extra stress of Beezus blaming you must make it.

Well done. I hope the light at the end of the tunnel keeps shining.

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