So, now that we've covered praise, what about punishment ?
In our family, I only think punishment is necessary for serious infractions. Most of the time they're just mis-behaving because they are excited/tired/hungry/or forgot that they aren't supposed to do a particular mis-deed. A reminder, hug, cuddle and/or distraction (okay, and sometimes yelling) is more than sufficient.
Yes, of course natural consequences are always best. But sometimes, a punishment is warranted.
An example of this might be when you have a new dogsitter over to your house and at the conclusion of her visit, your 5 year old, in an attempt to get more attention, pulls down her pants and MOONS the dogsitter, even going so far as to stick out her butt and waggle it a little bit.
In our family, this behavior warrants a punishment.
In this case, there was some yelling, and when your 5 year old LAUGHS when you are telling her that she should not show her BOTTOM to other people, I pulled out the "I am so mad I cannot talk to you right now."
But I still felt that there needed to be a punishment, and for a reason I can't quite put my finger on, it needed to be a punishment of doing something undesired, rather than the removal of a privilege.
So, the punishment in this case was having to pick up the toys in a particular room by herself. I'd guess that there were about 8 separate things that needed to be picked up and it was fairly easy because their rightful places were in the same room. When she was reluctant, I enforced it by saying that if she couldn't finish her punishment then she also couldn't watch tv.
Do you punish for every infraction or just major ones ? Is there a formula that you follow to fit the punishment to the crime or do you wing it ?
1 week ago