Sunday, May 9, 2010

Two hearts

As I'm getting ready for church and selecting earrings, my eye falls on the charm bracelet my mother gave me almost 6 years ago and my mind goes instantly to the heart charms (2 of them) that were the first charms on the bracelet. I turn the bracelet looking for these heart charms and am comforted to see them.

I force myself to open the drawer, sifting through the cards offering congratulations and consolations, to find the sonogram picture. I look at it again, squinting to see the A and the B.

I have to think hard for a moment about the dates. Was the due date July or August ? Was it 2004 or 2005 ? No, the due date was March 2005. July 2004 was when I found out I was pregnant and August 2004 was when they died in utero. I notice I'm not actively crying. I feel sad, and my eyes are filled with tears, but they don't fall over the edge of my eye this time.

I am brought out of my reverie by the sounds downstairs. My husband asking where the dresses are, my daughters' voices a gentle babble of sound.

I adjust my mother's day corsage (lovingly presented to me upon waking by two expectant faces), slip the bracelet on and head downstairs. My heart feels full of joy and I smile.

Other Mother's Day posts or related:
Mother's Day 2008

Mother's Day 2009

Just a related post

4 comments:

The Lowe said...

Love this.

Rachel et Natalie said...

so sorry Ellen, I did not know. I am glad you have now your 4 and 2 year old daugthers, they are precious.

Sue @ Laundry for Six said...

My due date was June 10, 2005. It's surprising sometimes how those moments sneak up on you.

dc604 said...

Love you.

 
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