Sunday, January 31, 2010

Sadness under a slip

Mr. Quimby and I have been decluttering like crazy recently - more on that later. But today I had a few free minutes and decided to de-clutter my slip drawer. Every proper lady of a certain age has a slip drawer - and although I am not at that "certain age" yet, I still have a slip drawer. For there are some clothes (tops and bottoms people!!!) that really wear much nicer with a slip underneath. My goodness, do I have slips - full slips, half slips, and camisoles in white, bone, nude, navy, and black. I also have ladies long underwear, both lightweight and mid-weight which makes a huge difference in this cold weather. Sadly, there's only a couple pieces of throw away. I don't have many duplicates and slips are the type of thing that when you need them, you really need them.

Underneath the pile of camisoles, I caught a glimpse of a corner of a greeting card - and like a sharp punch to my gut, I instantly knew what they were. A couple congratulations cards, several sympathy cards, a couple sonogram pictures with little blobs labeled A and B, a picture of a positive pregnancy test. Even 5 1/2 years later, it still brings tears to my eyes.

It's the loss of what might have been.

How I feel about this now is complicated. For if they had lived past 11 weeks gestation, if they had been born, I likely would not have Beezus and Ramona.

The sadness isn't quite as acute now, time has certainly dulled that pain. Having two beautiful and healthy daugters brings me such joy.

But it's still sad.


Stimey said...

I'm sorry. It is still sad.

Elaine said...

It's definitely still sad. Definitely.

Stacy said...

I'm sorry :( The holes in our hearts never fully heal...

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