Sunday, January 24, 2010

Almost

We're almost there - this is the 4th week of 4 where Mr. Quimby has been gone a good portion of the week. Thankfully, he's had the weekends at home to have fun.

I have gotten to a better place about it. I realized (after talking to my sister, Sarah) that I was worrying about how I could cope if something did happen and I was also worrying about potentially feeling overwhelmed. Typically, whenever I'm feeling anxious or blue about something I spend some time thinking about it, typically on my drive to/from work. Without fail, there's usually some sort of underlying issue which is what I'm actually upset about. Once I figure out the underlying issue, the whole anxiety/blueness just seems to dissipate. It's almost like magic. But this time, it was different - I couldn't put my finger on the underlying issue and that just started aggravating me. Then, while talking to my sister, it hit me. This time, there was no underlying issue . . . AND OF COURSE I was feeling worried about something going wrong while my husband was away. I decided that, in this case at least, I was just going to have to "sit with" the mild anxiety. The mild anxiety and worry, in this case, IS NORMAL !!! It wasn't paralyzing, I didn't think about it for hours on end, it didn't impact my daily activities, it was just a nagging annoyance. No big deal. Problem solved with some introspection and talking it through with someone. ***Original post edited to add these six sentences above.

Day to day, I did fine. There was minimal eating out, minimal yelling, and non-minimal coping with junk food at night, but frankly, I'm giving myself a pass. There are some areas for improvement (I need to get up earlier so I don't feel rushed) but it went fine. The next three days will give me the opportunity to end on a high note.

A couple things have helped - having a DVD to watch at night after my chores are done gives me something to look forward to. I turn off the computer during hectic times so I'm not tempted to "just go and check something real quick." On occasion, I have literally had to tear myself away from mindless surfing around my own bedtime - but that makes me feel good. Making good choices results in not feeling rushed or anxious . . . and reinforces that sometimes my anxiety results from feeling rushed, which resulted from procrastinating getting started in the first place. Ergo, a vicious cycle.

On that note, I will end here because we've just played outside for AN HOUR (woo hoo, I love 47 - 52 degree weather !!!) and I want the girls to have dinner early to make for a more leisurely evening.

2 comments:

Stimey said...

Hooray for being almost through it all! And I know what you mean about the cycle. When I am positive and active and doing stuff I feel so much better and so much more inspired than when I am wallowing in my own ick.

Marya said...

I respect so much your ability for self-reflection. What an amazing skill. Keep up the good work and know you have lots of support if you need it.

 
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