Projects !!! and Self-Awareness ???

I’ve just negotiated at work to take a pay cut and cut back on my hours for the next six weeks so I can get some things done around the house. The girls and I play all day on Wednesday, Friday and the weekends and while Mr. Quimby and I seem to have a little bit better handle now on the day to day domestic duties, the bigger, project oriented stuff just doesn’t get done. But I have managed to carve out some time here and there over the past 3 weeks to do some major work on the basement and I can really see the results. It’s also to the point where I can run down there for 10 minutes and do a quick pick up and that helps as well. I love my basement. It’s unfinished but I have a huge wall of shelving that I call my pantry, a nice big folding table for laundry, space for SEVEN yes, 7 laundry sorters. (Bleach whites, dryer safe lights, dryer safe darks, hang dry lights, hang dry darks, sheets/towels, rags/dog stuff. Really. It makes it easier to sort it like that because then even I can do the laundry when I’m too tired to think. I just grab a load and read the label.) It’s kind of cozy down there.

But in these next six Tuesdays I have a long list of things I want to accomplish. I found it really motivating to list the other projects I’ve worked on, so when I’m sitting around trying to think of what I could do next I can just look at my list! What a novel idea!

Here it is, roughly in order of priority:
Fix icemaker: Dad and I tried. Can't fix it. Add Call Plumber to list.
Sort clothes for co-op sale
Tag clothes for co-op sale
Go through house and find all other stuff for co-op sale
Sort through Beezus's train collection – get rid of pieces that don’t fit: DONE !!!
Straighten up canned goods and baked goods in pantry – (I AM SO LAME!!!)
Straighten out closet shelves
Find new oven and micro-hood (Good luck finding a 24 inch oven and micro-hood.)
Organize bills and paperwork
Make new budget
Switch out containers for linens in basement with containers for shoe storage for girls
Sort through girls shoes
Install shoe bag in girls’ closet
Sort through 18 months of pictures on the computer
Categorize and print the scrapbook worthy ones
Straighten up scrapbook area
Vacuum out kitchen cabinets and drawers
List old textbooks on half.com
List books on half.com

Oh god.

Re-reading the above makes me look like a crazy person. And really I’m not. I’ve got a pile of clutter in the corner cabinet of my dining room. And I’ve got disorder other places too. I just find that it is SOOOO much easier to keep the house picked up if there’s a place for (almost) everything to go. And our house would be considered small by most standards, so if there is a little bit of clutter somewhere it really makes a difference.

It’s funny – I would consider myself a pretty laid back housekeeper. I’m pretty engaged on stuff concerning my kids – I do a lot of reading and thinking about them, their schooling, etc. But my house isn’t decorated, I don’t have matching throw pillows and curtains, and I never make my bed. I would never stay up late to finish cleaning something. But there is CLEARLY other evidence that points to the contrary. I was at the pool with my neighborhood partner-in-crime A. and we were chatting with another mom that neither of us knows well. We were talking about what happens when you pack too many activities in a day, and I said “I try not to do that. I’m a pretty laid back person.” And A. just about fell into the baby pool she was laughing so hard. And then when I was recounting the story to some other neighborhood women who know both of us they were laughing too and one of them pointed out that I had earlier mentioned that I know that my kids eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on Wednesdays and Fridays for lunch!

And here I am thinking I'm all self-aware and stuff. Get it - I'm not even as self aware as I think I am? How's that for self-awareness.

Buh-by Peee-ple

For the past few months, Ruthie has been playing “bye-bye.” In the beginning she would grab any sort of bag, walk towards the front door and say “buh-buh mama” and we all thought it was just so cute, Esther included.

Over time, it evolved. Then she started carrying a purse and a slightly larger bag. Often she would go back into the pretend basket and get out a cell phone too. Since we carry their nap blankets to school every Monday and their swim clothes on all the other days in plastic grocery bags, she will now almost always add a plastic grocery bag to the mix. Her vocabulary has also gotten more sophisticated, with longer good-byes, accompanied frequently by a hug and a kiss.

This past Sunday, my parents and I were at church with the girls. And since we are at church for approximately 75 minutes, we of course have to bring 2 baby dolls, 2 “church purses” which have appropriately themed religious children’s books, and my “church bag” which includes 2 sippy cups and 2 cups of cheerios, which are not allowed to be consumed until the second half of the mass when people are kneeling. (I don’t bring my purse to church anymore. It only took one time of the girls emptying out my ENTIRE purse to learn that lesson.) Esther was in rare form that day, whining intermittently that she was tttthhhhiiiirrrrssssttttyyyyy, so thirsty. I held my ground, reminding her that the sippy cups and cheerios didn’t come out until all the people were kneeling. Luckily, our priest doesn’t mind the noise of little children. Ruthie asked repeatedly for her bubba and fah-fah, which I had forgotten, but she seemed mollified with clomping back and forth on the kneeler.

Finally, it was the kneeling time. The girls were sitting nicely on the pew, eating their cheerios and drinking their water. It progressed into the most sacred, most special, most profound, and MOST QUIET time of the mass. Thinking the girls were occupied, I was deep in prayer. But then, what’s that? I feel movement over to my side and look up to see Ruthie holding my mom’s phone, her church purse, and my church bag. She looks up and announces “BYE-BYE PEEEE-PLE. SEE YOU LATER!” and starts clomping down the row walking on the kneeler.

Thankfully the woman next to us was blocking her and she didn’t actually make a getaway. And that, dear reader, is why Ruthie and David frequently go to the grocery store or to get the oil changed while Esther and I go to mass.

Three epiphanies

Epiphany #1
I create drama in my life. While reading a book recently to help in my journey, I came across this quote that alluded to the fact that sometimes the process of making a bad decision (eating a Little Debbie) and the resulting self-loating creates drama where it did not otherwise exits. And it was as if a big ole cinder block hit me on my head: THAT IS SO ME !!! While I love my life, it’s not necessarily exciting. But when I procrastinate on leaving the house on time and then I have to rush and there’s the feeling of apprehension and dread if I am late to an appointment OR the feeling of excitement if I make it on time, that’s creating drama. If I eat something that is unnecessary, it creates the tension of “should I eat it, should I not ?” and the resulting self disappointment. This is the type of excitement and drama that I do not want in my life.

Epiphany #2
While I wish I had an epiphany on how to better manage the entiretey of all my domestic responsibilities, at least I've had an epiphany on how better to manage a small piece of it. I’ve had some good suggestions from friends (schedule stuff so you don’t have to worry about when it will get done) and I’ve also noticed that plugging away at it everyday will at least make me feel better about managing it. And then, there’s always 2012. That’s when both of the girls will (most likely) be in public school. We won’t have daycare/pre-school costs and I can take a sabbatical from work and get all my photos printed, scrapbooks done, and basement cleaned out !!! Even if it doesn't make a big difference, I at least feel better if I get a little something done in the morning. No matter how small or insignificant, if I wake up 15 minutes earlier and fold a load of laundry, I feel better.

Epiphany #3
I’ve also realized again that releasing worries into the universe almost always seems to lessen their load. A couple weeks ago I noticed that I had been feeling irritable for several days. I’m pretty good by now at self-reflection and can usually pinpoint where the crankiness or irritability is coming from. But in this case, I just kept coming up empty handed. It kind of seemed like a mid-summer slump or something. I talked to David about it and then talked to friend H. about it later that same night. I could LITERALLY feel the crankiness dissipating as we chatted. It came back a couple of days later, stayed for a few days, and I started getting worried. I don’t like feeling irritable and cranky. I really don’t like it – it reminds me of a tough time in my life that I never want to go back to again. So if general irritability and crankiness doesn’t dissipate within 3 days or so, I worry. But again I mentioned it to David and we talked about it. Dissipated a few hours later. It’s like magic, I tell you.

Happy 2nd Birthday Ramona - Part 1

We started off the day with a fun trip to the pool with my neighborhood friend, A. and her daughter Poodles. (not her real name, a pseudonym.) The girls and A. and I had a good time, and since I used my slightly improved "get out of the house" skillz, we were there at 10am when the pool opened which meant that we had a leisurely morning complete with pizza and plenty of time to play, meander, and still made it home before anybody got cranky.

After a long nap, Mr. Quimby came home to take one of the dogs to the vet. She can barely walk and is shaking at times, but still manages to get out of the yard! Ramona was awake, so she got to go with Mr. Q. to the vet.As Ramona was walking to the car, she looked over at Selma and said, "Back ah car, Felma. No car seat you."

Epiphany

I've had a few epiphanies as of late.

First, there is no amount of Wilton No Taste red food tint that will turn white icing into a red suitable for Elmo's fur. NO AMOUNT. I realized this after having used up 15 toothpicks transferring the food coloring from bottle to frosting. Because you shouldn't add too much at once lest the frosting turns too dark. Evidently you REALLY don't need to worry about that with red.

Second, I have mad cake decorating skillz. Pictures coming soon.

Third, my husband is very supportive even when he's pissed that I'm spending 3 hours baking/decorating a cake instead of buying one at Giant/Costco/Safeway for $20 OR just baking some regular square cake and frosting it with chocolate frosting like 90% of the population. This is not necessarily an epiphany, but still interesting.

Fourth, Elaine is evidently on vacation and does not have access to her home voice mail. I may sneak into her house and delete the nut job message I left begging her to tell me how to smooth out black icing when it keeps LIFTING OFF THE %$#@&* CAKE !!!

Perhaps I should have asked her for her mother's phone number instead. I'll bet she would know how to turn my frosting red.

Fifth, MAH BABY IS TURNING TWO!!! And she can sing almost the entire Happy Birthday song.

Sixth, when I had a "very serious discussion" with Esther's teacher about why she eats so little of her lunch and I babbled on about concern, and providing enough appropriate healthy food, and a child's ability to manage their own food intake, but still I was worried about how little she seems to eat at lunch and then when I FINALLY JUST STOPPED TALKING AND SHUT UP ALREADY she paused for a moment and calmly said, "Actually, Esther has a really good time talking and socializing with her friends at lunch and gets distracted." And then I got teary because this is a big and welcome change for Esther who used to be timid with her classmates at school. Luckily her teacher is around my age and has been teaching for a while and I hope has seen parents crazier than me. Like my neighborhood friend J. (and new blog reader - shout out !!!) who had almost the exact same conversation with our kids' teacher yesterday.

Seventh, I love my life. In spite of the stuff that worries/bothers/annoys me. I really, really love my life.

"My sister"

Esther has been referring frequently, of late, to Ruthie as "my sister." If we encounter someone at the grocery store and they ask Esther how old she is, she will respond, "I am almost 4 and my sister is almost 2." When she is correcting David and I for our treatment of Ruthie, she will still call her Sissy or Ruthie. As in, "No Daddy, you have to give one to Sissy too."

We were at McDonald's tonight for a special ice cream treat, and I asked Esther if she would like to ask the man for "two ice cream cones, please." She marches right up, no hesitation, and clearly says, "I would like two ice cream cones please. One for me and one for my sister."

It is so awesome to hear those words.

Oh, and remember how Esther used to be shy? She's still sensitive to large crowds and noises and will only occasionally ask other children to play, but the shyness with 1:1 interactions with adult strangers is mostly gone. She orders her own food at restaurants and responds to strangers questions in public. She's also made a super easy transition to a new classroom at her school. I'm sure that there are all sorts of reasons for this, typical development is probably one of them, but I can't help but think that part of the reason is that we never forced her into social interactions and we even protected her a little bit from them.

TMI

you-tee-eye

NOT fun to have one during a business meeting you are running nor the next day while trying to keep up with two active little girls. And yet, somehow I still managed to accidentally flirt with the doctor as he quickly dispensed my antibiotic.

get it? the "t" part???

I crack myself up. Seriously.