Thursday, January 29, 2009


Warning, especially to my Mom and Dad (who claim they read this blog but I don't think they do.) There will be cursing in this entry. Like the f-word. (Helen Virginia and Connor, you can keep reading since you already know the f-word.)

My entire fucking week has been fucking hijacked. Let me illustrate:

Intentions: Spend quality time with David in the morning decluttering basement. Maybe get Taco Bell for lunch together. Finish working on projects. (David was home in the morning because he had a flight out of BWI in the early afternoon.)
Reality: Esther home from school sick.
Accomplished: Nothing. But did get to spend snuggle time with Esther on the couch.

Intentions: Work on projects.
Reality: Worked on projects for 2 hours. Got call from daycare that they were closing early. Went ahead and picked up girls so they could nap at home.
Accomplished: A little bit.

Intention: Ruthie to sitter, quality errand running time with Esther, lunch with a famous person and her cool kid.
Reality: Stupid fucking snow.
Accomplished: Ruthie has this little nagging cough but wasn't bad enough for me to ever take her to the ped. But, given the snow and the resulting multiple cancellations that I KNEW would result at the ped's office, we just showed up and they saw us within 15 minutes. Got to have nice chat with ped., who I ADORE!

Intention: Esther to school, Ruthie to sitter. Craig's List pick up of Thomas roundhouse in Olney, Md. Quality time in car by myself listening to audiobook. 3 hours on projects.
Reality: Ruthie throwing up last night at 1am, 3am and this morning at 9am. Lots and lots of laundry.
Accomplished: This blog entry. Snuggle time with Ruthie. Next, I'm going to fold clothes and watch the Office. Updated to add: Just folded clothes and removed all ill-fitting socks from the sock basket.

Snow and sickness suck. Also, this is kind of what being a mom is all about. Yes, I HATE it when my plans are thwarted and I can still feel disappointed or sad, but it's also the gig I signed up for. Acknowledging that makes me feel less anxiety about all the stuff I haven't finished.
Also, after some rock star discussion among the Milk Moms recently about boundaries/discipline issues I've been keeping a good perspective with Esther and it's totally working. I'm changing threats to reward based incentives: Instead of "If you don't help me pick up the trains, I won't have time to play with you before supper" I say, "I will play with you after you pick up the trains." I'm also remembering to be more specific: Not "Help me pick up the toys;" not "You pick up the trains and I'll pick up the dolls;" but "Pick up Annie and Clarabelle. Good. Put them in this box." I got even better results when I put Hola Baby near the "train box" and told Esther that Hola Baby just told me that she wanted to look at all the trains at the same time.
The "boss" at my new job called today and wanted me to get on a conference call today and to come in early on my first day. Um, boundaries anyone? I said No to both things in a very nice way. I called the woman I'm replacing to also tell her that I would not be on the conference call and she asked me if I could come in for an hour today or tomorrow. I said No nicely, but there was an awkward pause and so I explained that I've got a sick toddler today and no child care tomorrow. She said I could bring them with me. I said maybe if the toddler stops throwing up. It's funny because we had a lovely visit a couple weeks ago and one of the pieces of advice she offered is that the boss will very benignly take advantage of people and that I needed to be very, very clear with boundaries from the start. So I am. I've always, always been a pushover with supervisors at work. No more. It's going to be a great exercise for me. Take a deep breath and then say no as succinctly as possible.
God also smiled on me today because I called today and got a hair appt. for Saturday at 10am. This is good because my roots are about an inch long and are totally and completely 100% gray.


Sue @ My Party of 6 said...

Ugh. Stinky. Except for the hair appt. part. But the silver lining? This all happened this week when you are still a SAHM! Next week it would have been even crazier! (And WTG on the boundaries at work! I'm not good at that stuff.)

Elaine said...

Not that you asked...but I have a lot of great ways to say "no" that I am happy to share with you. I have become expert at it since I started working part-time.

Thrift Store Mama said...

I would LOVE to hear those great ways. I'll bring a piece of paper to record them!
No doubt - this would have been HELL next week especially since it is likely David will be traveling.

Stimey said...

A famous person! I'm looking behind me. :)

I'm super impressed at your boundary setting. That's fantastic—and really difficult to do. Way to go!

dc604 said...

You did great with all of this. Most importantly you identified your frustrations along with the accomplishments that came with them - that's called "healthy". Keep saying no at work - um...yeah....even though it hasn't even started - you and your family are way more important. And you should totally take "no" tips from Elaine - everyone who reads this blog is way too grown up to try and be pleasing everyone else! word.

Laurie said...

Can you believe how this town shuts down at the thought of snowy weather!
Keep up the good work on the 'no' front. That could be the best upside of this job, learning to say no is one of the best skills!

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