or, rather, in the Thrift Store Mama blog. I'm in mourning. Mourning for the loss of my identity as stay at home mom, since I start my new job next week. I, ahem, don't do "well" with changes of this sort. I get very fearful of any changes that incur adjustments to logistics or schedules and returning to work certainly will incur adjustments. I hate thinking about it really.
It just took me so long to adjust to the SAHM identity because I never thought I would be one. But then sometimes, God, in her infinite wisdom does NOT give you what you want. And what I wanted 3 years ago was a part-time job at the place I was working. But God had a different call and a different challenge for me. And the past 19 months that I have been "at home" with my girls has been the best. time. of. my. life! Not the easiest, but by far the best. The best because I have done something I didn't think I could do. And I do it really well about 70% of the time and I do fine about 25% of the time, and well, the other 5% I'm just hoping the girls don't remember that.
I feel like I've finally got this SAHM gig figured out. So then why am I going back to work? It's sure not for fulfillment or to make a difference or something like that. It's for money. Money for extras, for savings and to pay for a cleaning lady. (David says he's tired of cleaning the bathrooms!) It's also a professional level job and those are hard to come by in the part-time world.
I know myself and I know how to cope with the anxiety of new routines. Once I get started I will feel much better. I've also been thinking about how much time I spend in a given day on the minutae of homemaking: preparing and cleaning up after meals, putting away toys, the general straightening. I HATE that sort of stuff. I'll happily clean out my basement but I hate the minutae stuff. If we're not home, I won't have the minutae stuff to do. I'm also making a gigantic list of books I want to read to start putting on hold at my local library. I spent about 30 minutes the other day figuring out how to use their on-line reservation system and it is awesome. I also want to find a podcast of daily local, national, and international news. Since Newsweek is my only source of news of any sort, the 35 minute commute will give me time to learn stuff so I, too, can start a conversation with "Did you hear that piece on NPR about..."
So, that's it. There's a lot of other stuff rattling around in my head these days, too. But I just picked up a copy of The Office, Season 3 from the library. And the girls are napping, so...
53 minutes ago