Friday, December 5, 2008


They've all turned against me.

When Esther was 16 months old (and I was 3 months pregnant) she made a drastic switch to Daddy's girl. When David was around, I was no longer permitted to feed her, change her diaper, hand her anything, or GOD FORBID touch or hug her. It has continued pretty much that way to this day, although I am permitted to wipe her butt. When David's not around, she's fine with me. When he is present, she actually ignores me. If I go into her room in the morning after she wakes up, I am greeted with "Not you!"

Ruthie has now joined her. Although Ruthie only prefers David about 75% of the time and I am still allowed to prepare her food and hand her toys.

Intellectually, I'm fine with this. I like it that they want him, that they know him well enough to allow him to care for them. It cements for me that we did the right thing by having David take a risk in his career track and take significant time off after they were born.

Emotionally, it's a little hard for me when Esther ignores me or says "Go away Mommy" or "Stop talking to me." I tell her to say please and then I abide by her wishes. While I feel sad (sometimes) that she doesn't want me, I am comforted by her fondness for David.

Logistically, it's a pain in the ASS when NOBODY wants me to help them with their coats, lift them into their carseats, or when they both want David to hold them at the exact same time!

This morning David was changing Ruthie's diaper and Esther needed to get dressed but she also needs help getting her pajama top off. She was really having a hard time with it but responded to be offer of assistance by running away from me. We were really rushing (as usual) to get out the door. Yelling ensued and in a streak of such extreme stubborness that I rarely see in her, Esther proceeded to take her pajama top off by herself by wiggling out of it and pulling the neck of her shirt down over her torso.

She showed me - there wasn't much I could do but just stare at her with my mouth hanging open!


Laurie said...

Hey, I just noticed I'm on you quote board-sweet! Don't forget to quote me on your lack of smelliness (see prior note). Anyway, I think this is totally typical. I think we'll all be enjoying our kids' swaying affections between parents for years to come. This is just the audition.

Elaine said...

Ellen, this would be really hard on me. OK - I totally wish both my kids wanted Ed first thing in the morning, but after that, it would bug me. I hope that the girls join your team soon - or at least one of them! I almost feel like this is something David should be trying to manage - but maybe he is. For example, he could say "Esther, Mommy is helping me out by getting you ready. You need to let her." I wonder if it'll change at all when you're working more and you become a more limited commodity.

vickie2005 said...

Yeah, i second elaine on this point. Although if my kids were your kids' ages, i'd get my revenge by walking out the door and watching a movie! I totally don't have your emotional maturity.

Rachel et Natalie said...

that must be tough but like Elaine I could do with some of it.

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