Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Could this be it?

I'm going to New York on Saturday for 3 days with my 2 sisters. Sarah has a business trip that will bring her there and Susan and I are only too happy to keep her company.

I'll be gone from my girls for a little over 3 days (75 hours to be exact). As excited as I am to spend this time with my sisters, I am very, very sad to be away from the girls for so long. Oh, and David too, of course. The last (and only) time I was away from Ruthie anywhere close to this long, she went on a nursing strike. The last time I was away from Esther this long, I was in the hospital having Ruthie!

I usually only nurse Ruthie 1 or 2 times during the day. So, I'll be pumping a little bit while I'm gone, in the hopes that she'll still be interested when I return. But if she's not interested, it will be okay. Really, really sad, but okay.

Breastfeeding is the one area where my body never failed me. Yes, I had recurrent ductal yeast with Esther, over-supply with both girls, reflux with both girls, but after the inital really rough 2-3 weeks with Esther it's just been so, so easy.

I wish there was some way that I could find the words to write what this has meant to me. The only way I can even come close is to be kind of zen about it.

It just...is. or maybe, it just...was.


{sue} said...

I have a few friends who knew when the last time they would nurse was going to be. I'm sure it's a hard moment.

I had no idea that my nursing career would end abruptly and much sooner than I had planned. It was traumatic for me at the time, but maybe it was better than anticipating it.

Hope you have a great weekend. And if it is the end, you have some wonderfully fond memories of that bond with your girls.

V said...

It's only the first of many, many important things you'll share with your girls. And it'll be the source of joy, pride and comfort as they grow older and more separate from you. And it'll be a goldmine to share with them when they have their own kids.

Silvia said...

Have fun with your sisters! Regardless of what Ruthie decides to do, you'll always have that special nursing time and feeling with both girls.

What would you need to do to become a lactation consultant? Do you need to be a nurse first? You'd be terrific.

Rachel et Natalie said...

I argree with Silvia. Youd be a warm, caring, wonderful lactation consultant.
Nursing our girls has brought us so much confort, much more than we even anticipated and it is hard to think that soon they will be ok without our boobies (smile)
Enjoy your week-end

Laurie said...

Such a complex time. Have a great weekend, and a great reunion with your family when you get back in 70ish hours.

dc604 said...

I know a couple of moms at my school who have become consultants...let me know if you want to talk to them.

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