Thursday, July 24, 2008

A moment

There are some moments in motherhood that are to be treasured. I will write about them here, play them over in my head because I do not ever, ever want to forget them. And when I am an old, old lady I will pull out these moments like a string of pearls (or a rosary) and hold them in my hands and move them through my fingers one by one and pass the time remembering them.

I think pretty critically about my religion. I have for a long time, ever since I learned how to do so at my Catholic college (no, I'm not being sarcastic). I'm well aware of the flaws of the Church and I make a conscious choice to stay and to practice my faith. Most of the time, I'm at peace with it - other things I studied at CUA helped me figure out the difference between actual Scripture teachings and the interpretations of those teachings by mere mortals (infallible or not). I've thought a lot about how to teach Beezus and Ramona the wonderful things about the Church while simultaneously teaching them to think critically. I've thought about leaving the Church from time to time - sometimes for another organized religion that is more inclusive, sometimes for an "off-shoot" of the Church. Yet I stay - in large part because of the Church's teaching that salvation is achieved through faith AND good works.

It came to a head for me at my parent's church this past Sunday. As we walked out after the recessional, my parents were ahead of us with Ramona. The holy water font at my parent's church was at eye level with Beezus. The font caught Beezus's eye and she slowed walking, raised her hand to dip her fingers and looked at me tenatively. My breath caught and everything slowed and blurred around me and in that moment it was just Beezus and me. My criticisms of the church, my worry over it's future, my own hesitancies just melted away. Our eyes met, I knelt down, and I moved my hand to hers and guided it, dipping her fingers in the water, leading her in the cross, whispering in her ear "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen." When we finished she turned to face me and looked at the tears in my eyes and said, "You happy Mommy?"

Update: And now, a few days later, she's crossing herself using a bucket of water at the pool with pretend "special water" which is what she calls holy water. Hysterical!

1 comment:

Elaine said...

My niece, Emily, has been spotted praying to a statue of Mary in her front lawn.

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