Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Sad

I originally wrote this post about a week ago.

I'm finishing up Fiona's scrapbook page and looking on the computer for old photos of Kara with the other Milk Mom babies, and I feel so, so sad. It's hard to make friends when you are older and I feel lucky and grateful and blessed beyond all explanation to have found the Milk Moms. They are my friends, my outlet, my undying support, always non-judgmental, and sometimes, when I'm really lucky, they need me too. And it feels great to be needed.

Not everyone in the group is quite so effusive about it as I am - and that is totally okay. Different people need the group for different reasons - and despite varying levels of investment or commitment, everyone really cares for and about each other, and that's the most important part to me.

I've gotten to spend more time with Fiona than some of the others, largely because we live fairly close, both like the thrift store, and our maternity leaves overlapped by about a month or so and we were able to hang out a good bit. And like me, she likes keeping her toddler "occupied" in the mornings, so we had some great weekend/holiday playdates downtown (and at the occasional shopping mall - it's a lot of fun when the stores are still closed!) And now she's leaving. I absolutely understand her reasons why, and in some ways I'm envious. She's actually getting out of this crazy East Coast where people drive too fast, care too much about their stupid self-important jobs, and talk incessantly about poll numbers and elections. This is NOT the real world. And while urban Seattle may not be the real world either, it's a hell of a lot closer to it than Washington is.

I've been thinking about why this is so upsetting to me - and I think because it goes back to the Milk Moms. We've already had two people leave us, although their leaves may be temporary and they could move back. But Fiona and Lance have no plans to move back here - this is it for them. And it makes me worry: who's next? Who will be the next one to leave us?

But I'm happy for Fiona, Lance, and the girls. I really am. And as David pointed out, it will be really fun to take a trip there with the girls in a year or so.

But for now I just want to be selfish and feel sad.

1 comment:

Fiona said...

Hey, I'm hurting too! (Although that Snickers REALLY did help!). I will always treasure the MM's and especially you ... which is why I'll still put my 2-cents worth in all the email discussions - just to feel a part of the group. I assume I will be kept on the email list ... right??!!
And I'll have the bedrooms ready for when you all visit!

 
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